Negative Automatic Thoughts
Mindful curiosity about automatic thoughts allows us to assess them from various perspectives, rather than accepting them as facts.
The Opponent: Negative Automatic Thoughts
“This is going to be a disaster.”
“That only went well because you got lucky.”
“They didn’t invite you because you’re so awkward.”
All day long, our minds chirp out “automatic thoughts.” These quick, spontaneous comments often fly just below our awareness and come in flavors ranging from helpful (“Nice work, that went well!”) to neutral (“I wonder what my cat is doing right now?”) to sometimes quite painful and negative.
Think of the last time you were upset about something. If you could tune back in to what your mind was serving up, what would you hear?
The X’s and O’s: Thoughts are Not Reality
The three component model from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) holds that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all interact with and influence each other. For example, if you have the thought, “I can’t believe I said that, they must think I’m an idiot,” you may feel shame or anxiety, which may lead you to act differently around those friends or coworkers in the future.
But luckily for us—thoughts are not always facts, even when they feel very true. In fact, research has shown that 91% of worry thoughts never come to pass and the 9% that do tend to be less dire than we feared. Given this, it’s helpful to have a play for handling those pesky automatic thoughts so that they don’t have an outsized impact on our feelings and actions.
The TLDR: Thoughts are powerful. They influence what we feel and what we do. Recognizing this is the first step towards learning how to work with our thoughts.
The Play: Perspective Shift
Of the many available plays to reduce the power of negative automatic thoughts, mindfully shifting your perspective is one of the quickest and most effective. To follow this play:
Notice when a negative automatic thought might have occurred. Look for clues like shifts in mood, willingness, curiosity, or attention.
Ask yourself—what was going through my mind just now?
When you’ve named the thought, try to look at it with new eyes. Some good questions to ask are:
“Is there another way of looking at the situation?
”Am I being too extreme in my thinking?”
“What is the most realistic outcome?”
“Am I being fair to myself?”
and, “What else might this person be thinking?”
The TLDR: Mindfully notice when negative automatic thoughts are popping up. Get curious about them and take on different perspectives to assess the situation, rather than accepting automatic thoughts as fact.