Back to School Nerves
Combine acceptance and confidence to supportively respond to students in a nervous moment.
The Opponent: Back to School Nerves
Ahhh September. The air is starting to cool, camp chaos has mercifully ended, you are itching for that first pumpkin spice latte…but along with the cozy fall vibes and shameless sweater wearing on 78 degree days, comes an annual challenge—back to school nerves.
“What if my friends aren’t in my class?”
“What if I forgot how to read over summer?”
“What if I don’t like it?” or, more to the point, “I don’t like school!”
When the kids in your life are struggling with back to school nerves, it can be hard to know how to respond. Is this a moment for reassurance? Validation? Reminders that they’ve done this before and will be fine?
The X’s and O’s: Big Shifts Create Big Feelings
For kids, parents, and educators alike, the back to school season brings anticipation, excitement, and anxiety. From navigating new social situations, to academic pressures, to simply being away from their caregivers, kids have a lot to cope with in a short period of time.
Perhaps more tellingly though, 87% of caregivers say that the return to school causes them stress and anxiety. What gives? While uncertainty and new routines certainly play an understandable role in this stress, it can be hard on caregivers to watch the kids in their lives struggle with worries and not know how to respond. In an effort to help, well intended adults can get sucked into a cycle of giving excessive reassurance (“You’re going to be fine, I promise you’re going to be fine, didn’t I just tell you that it will be fine?!”), minimizing (“Buck up buttercup, we all have to go to school”), or just plain confusion (“Wait, you loved school last year! What is going on?”).
The TLDR: Back to school nerves can be hard to handle for kids and caregivers alike.
The Play: Supportive Statements
Supportive statements offer adults a quick, handy play to help nervous kids tackle challenges. The formula? Briefly validate your student’s emotional experience, then express confidence in their ability to handle the upcoming situation. In other words, coach courage. The beauty of supportive statements is that they put no pressure on busy adults to memorize a script or get it just right. Instead, you can mix and match the statements below or create your own to find your favorite way of encouraging a nervous student through a tough moment.
Lead with acceptance:
I understand you’re nervous…
I know this is hard…
I can tell this is very tough…
I know going back to school is a big change…
It can be hard to get back in the swing of doing homework…
Then offer confidence:
…and you have the power to get through this.
…and I know you can handle this.
…and you can do hard things.
…and you are so brave when it comes to facing new adventures.
…and I know you’ll find your rhythm.
Utilizing supportive statements does not mean waving a magic wand over a child’s feelings so that they evaporate. It means empowering them by affirming their feelings while also letting them know that—like their favorite superhero, athlete, or icon—they are fully equipped with the ability to take on the things that make them nervous, such as returning to school.
When you see a child dealing with nerves your natural instinct may be to remove all obstacles, and simply offering brief and empowering supportive statements can take restraint. We know it’s tough, and you can do this.
The TLDR: Combine acceptance and confidence to supportively respond to students in a nervous moment.